


More Like Making Out Than Making Up

by Kouki69774



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26818396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kouki69774/pseuds/Kouki69774
Summary: “Are you trying to get me to the hospital before debut, or something?”, he said in an undertone of annoyance. His eyes were looking furious and if his head wouldn’t hurt that bad, he would probably have grabbed Hyunjin by his collar while accusing him. “I-I didn’t mean to-“ Hyunjin started with a stutter, looking down to the floor with a very apologizing expression on his face but was once again interrupted by Jisung’s rage. “You didn’t mean to? To What? To step on my foot and almost knocking me out? Well for not intending you did a great job.”, he sarcastically responded, not caring about the shock on Hyunjin’s and the other members’ faces.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I got inspired by Hyunjin's and Han's story of being "enemies" as well as Stray Kids' survival show in which a part of the members move in with the others (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4DbN0UZo6g).
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Kudos: 97





	More Like Making Out Than Making Up

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy and leave a comment if you feel like it <3

They were practicing Hellevator for nth time this day. Everyone was already drenched in sweat, breathing heavy and feeling the pain in every bone. Exhaustion could be read in everyone’s faces. Hyunjin has never felt so tired in his life before, but he was determined. He wanted to give his best. For himself and for the team. He wanted to debut so badly. It had been his dream to debut with the others since the first time he had heard _him_ rapping. Especially now, since their relationship had made a turn for the better, Hyunjin was even more motivated to work harder and longer.

Hyunjin was just about to finish his part, already walking backwards, when he felt stepping on someone’s foot – Jisung’s foot. ‘Oh shit!’, Hyunjin thought while the other let out a painful yelp. He wanted to move his foot off of Jisung’s but as he shifted, he felt himself loosing balance, starting to stumble as he still tried to grab onto someone but failed. While stepping even harder on Jisung’s foot, he fell backwards, feeling like it happened in slow motion. Like in one of this comedy shows. He looked in Jeongin’s terrified eyes as he fell down, Hyunjin’s arms flied up in a needless attempt to somehow get his balance back but it was already too late. He prepared to hit the wood floor. But to his surprise he didn’t. Instead his back was met with Jisung’s chest. A painful breath leaving the younger’s lunges as Hyunjin’s body crushed him. Unfortunately, not only did Hyunjin crush Jisung under him, but the back of his head also hit Jisung’s forehead, making the younger even cry out loud in pain. Hyunjin could hear their bones hitting against each other, making an uncomfortable noise. Hyunjin felt the pain of his head running through his body, his mouth leaving a painful groan.

As soon as Hyunjin realized that he wasn’t the only one in pain and probably not the one being in the most pain, he immediately rolled himself off of Jisung. Touching the back of his head, he stood up and looked at the younger boy who had placed a hand on his forehead, face crunched in pain and eyes closed. The others had also stopped dancing and Minho rushed over to turn the music off while the rest surrounded Jisung, worried expressions on their faces as they looked at him.

Hyunjin was the first to speak up, “Oh my god, I’m so so sorr-“

“Fuck!”, Jisung screamed before the other could finish his sentence. He didn’t open his eyes, just sat up while still touching the place where Hyunjin’s skull had hit his forehead. “Are you serious?”, he groaned, his expression slowly changing while taking a deep breath before he finally opened his eyes and looked at Hyunjin.

Hyunjin’s face was showing worry and concern but Jisung didn’t care. Hyunjin’s puppy eyes couldn’t soften his heart.

“Are you trying to get me to the hospital before debut, or something?”, he said in an undertone of annoyance. His eyes were looking furious and if his head wouldn’t hurt that bad, he would probably have grabbed Hyunjin by his collar while accusing him. “I-I didn’t mean to-“ Hyunjin started with a stutter, looking down to the floor with a very apologizing expression on his face but was once again interrupted by Jisung’s rage. “You didn’t mean to? To What? To step on my foot and almost knocking me out? Well for not intending you did a great job.”, he sarcastically responded, not caring about the shock on Hyunjin’s and the other members’ faces.

Jeongin was the first to come up to Jisung who was still sitting on the floor, furiously starring at Hyunjin who looked clearly shocked but still very sorry, even a little intimidated. While placing a hand on his Hyung’s shoulder, Jeongin asked, “Hyung, do you need an ice pack for your head? Should I get you one?”. The Maknae’s voice was soft and caring. He just wanted to reduce his Hyung’s anger by offering him help and caring for him. That’s why he was not just surprised but even startled as Jisung shook his hand off and glared at him while saying, “I don’t need your pity, Jeongin!”

That was the moment Chan intervened as the leader of the group. Before Jeongin could talk back – which he wasn’t able to anyway because he was just too thunderstruck, never before had his Hyung denied him – Chan announced, “Five minutes break! Everyone, get some hydration!”.

„And get Jisung an ice pack, please. He seems to need one badly.”, Chan said to Jeongin in a whisper tone so Jisung wouldn’t hear it as their leader looked at the red spot on Jisung’s forehead. The youngest nodded and immediately left to get an ice pack.

The other members also left the circle they were standing in and moved to their gym bags in the other corner of the room. Just Chan stayed and kneeled down next to Jisung. “Tell me, what’s really going on with you. What’s wrong?”

Jisung audibly sighed and rolled his eyes, “Nothing.” He hated when Chan just immediately sensed when something was going on. Was it the so-called leader sense? Was it due to their long friendship? Or was it just due to Jisung having overreacted like a drama queen? Probably a combination of all three. He knew lying was no option, but he tried it anyways. “It’s just that it fucking hurts. If it hadn’t been for that clumsy idiot, my head wouldn’t hurt like hell.” Jisung let out another annoyed sigh to underline his point in here.

Chan eyed him suspiciously, looking directly into his eyes. Jisung knew he had to hold his gaze if he wanted Chan to at least accept his lie and not talk any further about it – but the younger failed miserably. He couldn’t look Chan into his eyes while he had this worried expression on his face. So he looked down, preparing for Chan to dig further into the topic he didn’t want to talk about – Hwang Hyunjin.

“There’s something else, isn’t it?”

Silence.

“It’s not about Hyunjin’s clumsiness.” Chan paused for a moment and placed a hand on Jisung’s knee which made the younger look up again.

“It’s about Hyunjin in general, am I right?” The leader’s voice was soft. A little too soft for Jisung’s taste. As if Chan knew that it wasn’t about Jisung hating Hyunjin when he said ‘Hyunjin in general’. As if he knew that it was neither about Hyunjin’s clumsiness nor about the pain. At least not about the pain in his head.

~

Jisung and Hyunjin had just made up about a few weeks ago. After they had got to know they were probably about to debut together, Chan had forced them to finally have a talk. It had been a long talk, but it had been also a good one. They had talked about why they had started to hate the other in the first place. And they had got to know that they had been the biggest idiots in the whole universe. Their reasons for hating each other just had been ridiculous. Jisung had hated Hyunjin because he had been afraid of another rapper joining their team. And Hyunjin had hated Jisung because he had been jealous of the younger’s rap talent and experience. After that they had put an end to their fight and actually became some kind of friends.

At least that’s what Jisung thought until that day.

The day of the others joining Jisung, Chan, Felix and Jeongin in their dorm and the day of deciding who would room with whom. (<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4DbN0UZo6g>)

Hyunjin had hurt Jisung’s heart that day. He had actually broken it that day.

As just mentioned, they had become some kind of friends. Jisung had gotten his hopes up after their meaningful and heartfelt talk. Everything had been going well. They had meals together, they practiced together - just the two of them without the other members and without any arguments - they laughed together, and they had more meaningful conversations about their fears and worries. Everything had been going well until the day of the others moving into their new dorm to become a team.

Jisung had been looking forward to it. He was hoping to room up with Hyunjin, already imagining what it would be like if they could talk late at night after practice, not just during practice. Being all exhausted but not wanting to end their conversation, cuddling up against each other under a cozy blanket, maybe – just maybe – holding hands underneath. Jisung was pretty sure the last part would never happen, but he still got his hopes up as their relationship had quickly evolved after their intimate talk. They had quickly become that one person for each other with whom they could just talk about anything. Jisung loved how he was able to pour out his heart in front of Hyunjin. He didn’t feel like he had to hide his anxieties and concerns about the future. Even though they had been some kind of enemies before, it felt like Hyunjin had always been his best friend after they got closer. It felt like the most normal thing to talk to him. And Hyunjin felt the same about Jisung – at least that’s what Jisung had thought.

So, reality had hit him hard when Hyunjin had pushed him away that day, not being happy about rooming up with Jisung but instead hugging their Maknae joyfully. The second Jisung had spotted Hyunjin in his room, he couldn’t control the happiness and excitement rushing through his veins but then Hyunjin showed him his disappointment about his appearance and Jisung’s whole world crashed down on him. Jisung’s heart had broken in pieces and has been hurting ever since.

After that, whenever he looked at Hyunjin he got sad, remembering the elder rejecting his hug and reaching out for their youngest. Whenever he looked at Jeongin he got angry, blaming the Maknae for it, even though he knew it wasn’t his fault.

It was all Jisung’s fault for getting his hopes up. He should have never ever even tried to become friends with Hwang Hyunjin – let alone more than that. After all they couldn’t stand each other as it seemed.

~

“I want you two to sort it out. Talk about it and don’t hold it in like you did before.” Chan’s gaze intensified and he continued, “We finally got the chance to debut. Don’t let your quarrel get in the way. For the team’s sake.”

Chan stood up and reached out for Jisung to help him up. The younger hesitated for a moment to take the other’s hand but gave in, took his hand and let himself be pulled up to his feet. The moment Jisung was standing on his feet, Jeongin came back with an ice pack in his hand. The younger met Jisung’s gaze uneasily, quickly turning to Chan who smiled warmly and nodded his head towards Jisung. The rapper walked towards their youngest and took the ice pack while mumbling a quiet “I’m sorry”. Jeongin hummed and gave his Hyung an uneasy but sincere smile. Jisung was glad the Maknae didn’t seem to be angry with him about acting up.

He was glad the younger didn’t seem to have noticed that his ‘sorry’ wasn’t sincere though. Not right now. He didn’t want to be mean to Jeongin. The younger wasn’t the one to blame but still Jisung couldn’t do anything about being mad at him. I really didn’t want to, but he still felt the pain in chest whenever the Maknae was smiling and Hyunjin returned the smile, giving the youngest his best and most beautiful eye-smile.

As Jisung sat down on the only couch in their practice room, their leader clapped his hands while looking at the other members who were all resting on the floor. “Let’s continue our practice.” Jisung was just about to put the ice pack down and to stand up as Chan stopped him with his hand motioning him to sit down again. “You can rest for next few songs. Just join us when you’re ready to dance again.” Jisung nodded lightly. He was glad that Chan gave him an extra time to rest and cool the spot where Hyunjin’s skull had met his forehead.

The other members moved in front of the mirror, getting ready to start over again and go through the choreo, except Hyunjin. The older got up and moved over to the couch where Jisung was sitting on. He didn’t sit down, just slightly bend down and searched for the other’s eyes. Jisung annoyingly looked up at Hyunjin, his expression telling the older to fuck off, but Hyunjin didn’t seem to care.

Hyunjin was too busy being sorry for having hit Jisung that hard. Hyunjin had noticed the red spot as soon as he had rolled off the rapper, his painful facial expression had done the rest to make Hyunjin feel guilty to no end.

So that’s why when his and Jisung’s eyes met, the older apologized, “I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry. I really didn’t mean to step on your foot nor knock you down. I’m sincerely sorry.” Hyunjin hoped this would fix it and lighten up Jisung’s mood at least a little. He really didn’t want to fight with the younger, not again. They had just become some sort of friends and he didn’t want to ruin everything again because he had been too clumsy for once.

“If you would just stick to the _fucking_ choreo, you wouldn’t have to be sorry. Jeez, learn your steps and get them right!”, Jisung quietly hissed so the others wouldn’t hear him blaming Hyunjin. With an audible sign Jisung leaned back on the couch and turned away from other, giving him the cold shoulder.

Hyunjin was shocked for a second before he got pissed. Really pissed off. The younger hadn’t changed at all. The agreement to be friends and to put an end to their quarrel – it had been just a meaningless talk. Hyunjin had really thought that after they had talked, things would get better, but he didn’t know how wrong he was. Jisung was still the same asshole he had been this whole time. The same moody and raging squirrel he had been since the two of them had first met.

Hyunjin had been so stupid for believing they could become friends.

“You know what?”, Hyunjin angrily asked. “Fuck you, too, Jisung!” He said it loud enough for the other members to hear. He wanted them to hear it. He was fed up with always trying to be nice and to make it up to Jisung. He had been way too nice and forgiving for the past couple days whenever Jisung had been moody and had given a sassy comment here and there. The younger was just not worth of Hyunjin’s nice words and his apologizes.

Without waiting for Jisung’s reaction nor giving him time to respond, he turned around and walked to the others in front of the mirror, getting into his position. He noticed the awkward atmosphere in the practice room, but he decided to ignore it. He didn’t want to deal with it. He didn’t want to explain himself nor being forced to apologize. Hyunjin knew if he just looked fierce enough, the members would not dare to speak to him and that’s why he was staring angrily at his reflection, ignoring the confused shared looks between the members.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Their dance practice had ended a little after 7pm. Jisung had joined them after he had rested for about 10 more minutes. The whole time it had been pretty awkward. The whole atmosphere in the room had changed after Hyunjin had told Jisung to fuck off. None of the member dared to look at Hyunjin nor at Jisung. No jokes had been made anymore, they all had just concentrated on their choreography. Not even Changbin had dared to say anything silly. The rapper knew Jisung pretty well and he knew when Jisung wasn’t in the mood for Changbin’s jokes. It happened not very often that Jisung was in such a bad mood, so when he was, it was safer to not talk to him and let him be sulky.

Changbin was also the only one who knew about what of a great impact the bad relationship with Hyunjin had had on Jisung. The other had told him one lonely night, pouring out his heart to his best friends and crying on his shoulder. Since that night, Changbin saw their quarrels in a different light. But he didn’t know why Jisung was acting up after he and Hyunjin had become friends. He didn’t know about Jisung’s broken heart – the younger hadn’t told anybody about yet because he didn’t want to admit how deeply Hyunjin’s rejection had hurt him and he was ashamed about his angry feelings towards Jeongin. Jisung rather concentrated on their missions in order to debut.

“Let’s have chicken!”, Chan had announced while they had wrapped up their stuff. That had lightened the mood and the members had started to smile again. Even Jisung’s and Hyunjin’s mood had changed for the better and they had even forced themselves to smile along with the other members. Until-

“Not for you two though.”, Chan had turned his attention to Jisung and Hyunjin, the other members already halfway through the door, jumping in excitement. “I want you to go back to the dorm first and talk about whatever there’s to talk about. We will bring you food after we finished.”, with that he had turned around and had hurried up to catch up with the others, leaving two thunderstruck idiots behind.

That’s how Hyunjin and Jisung ended up at their dorm instead of their favorite chicken place. An ironical “Thanks for that though.” from Hyunjin and Jisung’s “It’s your fault too, stupid.” had been the only conversation on their way home. Hyunjin had been the first to take a shower, not asking Jisung if he wants to go first, but as Jisung had just thrown himself on his bed, not moving an inch, Hyunjin had assumed he could go first.

“Shower’s free.” was their first interaction since they had arrived at the dorm. Hyunjin’s words didn’t sound that angry anymore. Maybe the shower had lightened up his mood or he was actually preparing to have a humanely talk with Jisung, like Chan had demanded of them.

Since Jisung mood wasn’t that good yet – mainly because he had missed the chance to have a chicken dinner with the members – he decided not to respond, in case he would still sound too huffy. He just got his changing clothes and quietly made his way to their bathroom.

The warm water really did wonders.

“Let’s talk.”

Jisung responded with an annoyed groan. He had just entered their shared bedroom, drying his hair with a towel while making his way to his bed to lie on it again. His mood had gotten better but as soon as he had heard Hyunjin’s voice, his mood turned bad again. He didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to be let alone. He didn’t even want to think about his feelings and his behavior today, not to mention talking about it.

“Sit here.”, the elder said and patted a place next to him on his own bed. Jisung groaned again. He stopped in his movement and slowly turned around to face Hyunjin.

The other boy looked at him with big doe eyes and an insecure smile played around the corners of his lips. He was Jisung a hard time to not give in and hug him, forgetting the pain in his chest for a little moment just to hold Hyunjin in his arms. Hugging had felt so damn good, a few weeks ago when they hugged for the first time ever after they had their talk.

Jisung sighed, trying hard to look unconcerned. “What’s the point of talking anyway?”

‘Good start, Jisung. Keep giving him the cold shoulder like you don’t care at all’, he thought to himself, feeling kind of proud for the image he was putting up.

“You gave me a bump and it still hurts.”, Jisung reasoned. “Nothing to talk about. So please just let me have a rest before the others return with the food.”

Jisung turned around and walked up to his bed. He hung the towel on one of the rungs of his bunk bed and sat down on the bottom bunk bed. He reached for his phone next to his pillow and opened Youtube, mentally already celebrating his victory. Hyunjin didn’t talk back for a while, but Jisung could feel the elder’s gaze on him.

„That’s just not you, Jisung. Something’s wrong, isn’t it? You’re acting different since we became roommates.”

Jisung snorted.

“Don’t act like you know me.”, he responded without looking up from his phone. “It’s not like we’ve become friends or anything, just because we’re gonna debut together.”

It took Hyunjin some seconds to respond.

“I thought we did though. At least kinda.”, he said in a whisper.

Jisung looked up. Hyunjin was still sitting on the edge of his bed on the opposite of the room, his hands folded in his laps and looking down at the floor. He looked miserably. Jisung felt a sting running through his body, his heart clenched at the sight. He felt guilty, but as soon as he remembered why they were in this situation in the first place he got mad once again. Hyunjin was putting on an act. He played with Jisung’s feelings and it wasn’t Jisung who was supposed to feel guilty. Hyunjin had lied to him this whole damn time, used him to be save to debut. Hyunjin should feel guilty for shamelessly acting like Jisung had just actually hurt his feelings.

“Oh, you thought we did?” Jisung snorted once again, rolling his eyes. Hyunjin looked up at him and timidly nodded. Jisung laughed ironically and looked back down to his phone, starting to type a message, asking Chan how long they going to take to come back to the dorm, stating that he was hungry. “Don’t lie, Hyunjin. There are no cameras to record you. No need to pretend.”, he casually said while typing.

He didn’t notice Hyunjin’s eyes becoming watery.

“I thought we were good. Why do you suddenly hate me again, Jisung?” During the last sentence, the elder’s voice became wobbly. It was hard to talk for him without letting any tears escape.

“I never said I stopped hating you.”, Jisung blankly responded. He wasn’t lying, he never told Hyunjin that he stopped hating him. But he had been lying when he had told Hyunjin that he had hated him. He had never hated Hyunjin in the first place. It hadn’t been hate when he had first met Hyunjin. Yes, he had been jealous and anxious about another rapper in their team, but he had never hated Hyunjin. Not even for a second. And even though Hyunjin had broken his heart, Jisung was still not able to hate him.

“Why are you saying that?” Now Jisung looked up from his phone and met Hyunjin’s eyes. Tears were filling up his eyes. “You can’t tell me during all of the conversations we had, you faked being friends with me this whole time.” Hyunjin’s voice cracked at the end as he couldn’t contain his tears. He was quietly crying, tears running down his cheeks while he looked right into Jisung’s eyes. His gaze telling Jisung ‘Please, don’t tell me it had been fake’.

Hyunjin was a very good actor, Jisung had to admit.

Those tears were fake,

…weren’t they?

Jisung was doubtful for a second but he kept recalling the memory of Hyunjin’s disappointed expression when they became roommates - and continued to play it cool.

“I’m not the one who faked to be friends with someone.” Jisung crossed his arms, he was emotionlessly staring at Hyunjin, accusing him silently.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened at the younger’s statement. He looked shocked. “I-I didn’t fake it!”, he insisted. “You _are_ a friend to me!”

It felt so real when Hyunjin said it with his red, puffy eyes, tears still running. Jisung really wanted it to be true, but it wouldn’t make sense if it was. Otherwise why would Hyunjin have been disappointed when they became roommates? You’re normally not disappointed when you room up with a person you like – with a friend. The only reasonable thing would be that Hyunjin was faking it the whole time.

“Don’t lie, Hyunjin. No need to anymore. I’m sick of your shameless lies.” Hyunjin’s eyes got even bigger and his expression even more shocked because of Jisung’s words. It took the older a moment to recover, as he did Jisung noticed the change in Hyunjin’s emotion.

Hyunjin got angry.

“Why the fuck do you think I’m lying? What’s wrong with you? I haven’t done anything to deserve this!”, he yelled at Jisung. Hyunjin was raging, so was Jisung now.

“I don’t know!”, Jisung yelled back “Maybe because you couldn’t hide your disappointment when we became roommates?” He was too tired to hide it anymore. He was done with all the pain the other had caused him. “I know I’m not as cute as our _lovely_ Maknae, but you didn’t have to show it that obviously!” Now, it was Jisung who couldn’t hold in his tears anymore. “It fucking hurts, you know? Because you actually meant something to me!”

After Jisung had finished yelling, it was quiet for a long moment. Jisung had hid his face behind his arm, quietly crying and letting out some of the pain he had piled up for weeks now. While Hyunjin was staring at him in shock.

Jisung had noticed.

Even though Hyunjin had tried to play it off as some joke in front of the camera. He had hurt Jisung and didn’t even know about it until now.

Now he understood Jisung’s weird behavior. Hyunjin felt guilty. It had been some time since he moved in and all this time Jisung had kept his feelings to himself. The feeling of Hyunjin having betrayed him. And everything because Hyunjin actually not wanted to risk their new established friendship. But in fact, it had quite the opposite effect.

“You misunderstood.”, Hyunjin mumbled.

Jisung still hid his face behind the sleeve of his sweater. “What’s there to misunderstand? You hate me!”, he yelled the last sentence which made Hyunjin flinch.

“I don’t hate you.”, Hyunjin insisted. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. He had to tell the truth. Jisung wouldn’t believe any lies anymore and Hyunjin didn’t want to lie to him. Jisung deserved the truth. The truth about Hyunjin’s actions.

“To be honest, yes, I actually wasn’t thrilled to become your roommate.”

“Finally, you admit it.”, Jisung responded angrily with a sobbing, his face still hidden behind his sleeve.

“But it wasn’t like what you think.” Hyunjin looked down at his hands, playing with the ring on his index finger. He felt his heart beating abnormally fast. “I was afraid of becoming your roommate, because I feared that you would find out.”

Jisung slowly looked up from behind his sleeve. His cheeks were wet from his tears and his eyes still a little watery. He looked at Hyunjin who wasn’t meeting his gaze. The younger eyed him suspiciously, before asking in a sarcastic voice “Find out about what? You’re shamelessly faking that you’re my friend, huh?”

Hyunjin didn’t respond immediately. He waited a few seconds to gather his courage. A few seconds in those Jisung almost couldn’t bear with the situation anymore. In the short silence he could feel the aching pain in his chest.

“No.”, Hyunjin said and raised his head to meet Jisung’s gaze. “Finding out about the real reason why I became an Idol at JYP-”, he said with a firm voice while looking right into Jisung’s beautiful eyes.

The words just left his lips, not able to hold in the truth any longer,

“Because I fell in love with you.”

Hyunjin could feel his heart beating unhealthily fast, almost jumping out of his chest. His hands began to feel numb because of the nervousness running through his whole body, making him slightly tremble. He could feel the blood and heat rushing up to his cheeks. Suddenly it became a lot warmer in their room.

The elder could see how Jisung’s eyes widened as he processed what the spoken words had just meant. Jisung’s gaze made Hyunjin’s insecurity even worse, already feeling like those words had been the most devastating truth he had ever spoken.

“Are you kidding me?”, Jisung asked angrily. “Because if this is a prank, I’m sure I’m about to kill you right now.” Hyunjin was taken aback by the other’s reaction.

This wasn’t the way Hyunjin had expected this to go. He slightly shook his head. “N-no.”, he whispered into the silent room, his voice slightly shaking. “I’m s-serious.” Jisung’s facial expression slightly relaxed, turning into a confused and questioning look. He looked Hyunjin right into his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”, he asked with a firm voice, almost sounding angry again.

Hyunjin took all his courage which he didn’t even know where it was coming from and answered quite forward, “I’ve been in love with you for a while now. Actually, since before we even officially met.”

Jisung just stared at Hyunjin in disbelieve, his eyes had opened wide. His gaze wandered dizzyingly through the room as he tried to understand what Hyunjin meant by that. This was just too much for the younger to handle all at once. Hyunjin’s confession happened so sudden, Jisung hadn’t been expecting it in the slightest. Jisung’s gaze finally landed on Hyunjin again who surveyed him with a little concern, but himself didn’t look any less concerning. Jisung noticed Hyunjin’s trembling fingers.

There was a long silence between the two of them during neither of them dared to say a word.

“Let me explain,” Hyunjin finally spoke and took a deep breath before continuing, “I’ve admired you for quite a while now. A friend had dragged me to one of JYP’s trainee evaluation events. That was when I saw you for the very first time. I was impressed because of your rapping skills and also your visuals. You were so cool and confident on stage. And your smile – I couldn’t help but fall in love with it. After your stage, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I actually searched you up on the internet and questioned my friend about you.” Hyunjin slightly laughed and smiled uneasily. “Embarrassing, I know. My friend was actually the one who changed my mind and made me audition for JYP instead of any other entertainments. I was so happy when I got accepted as a trainee. Not because I could persuade my dream of becoming an Idol but because I would be able to meet you eventually. I was all hyped up on my first day as a trainee. And then after being a trainee for about two weeks, I finally met you.” Hyunjin smiled once again but then his expression got darker and his smile vanished completely. He was playing with his fingers, not daring to look at Jisung.

“That was when my perfect illusion of our first meeting got destroyed.” Hyunjin took another breath, giving Jisung a small moment to process Hyunjin’s side of the story, but also to give himself a moment to gather his emotions.

“I lied about hating you for your rapping skills. I never did.”, Hyunjin lifted his head for the first time while he spoke and softly smiled at Jisung. “I’ve always admired you for your skills. It was actually that day when I met you in person for the very first time that I started to hate you. The moment I first met you I got super shy and nervous. I don’t know if you remember but you and Changbin Hyung were supposed to give Felix and me a rap lesson. I greeted you all politely and introduced myself, hoping you would remember my name. But you interrupted me and told me that I would probably not stay for long, so it wasn’t necessary for me to introduce myself.”

Hyunjin looked very hurt while talking about their first encounter. Jisung could remember that day pretty clearly. It was that day that he had been told that a new trainee had been found to also become a candidate for debuting as a rapper. As soon as Jisung got the news he had broken a cold sweat, almost passing out because he had been so shocked - and angry. That day he had promised himself he would never give that new trainee a chance. He would try everything to get rid of him. Now that Jisung thought about his acting, he really had been cruel, not knowing that he had destroyed a fan’s image of him. Not knowing he had made enemies with his soon to be crush that day.

“You simply didn’t want to know my name. I still remember your gaze. It was nothing like on stage. You looked arrogant and annoyed at us. Changbin Hyung had tried to play it off as a joke of you but I saw how you had meant it. That day my perfect illusion of you had shattered into a thousand pieces. And after you told me I sucked at rapping, I just couldn’t handle it being deadly disappointed by you - my idol, my crush - all at once. I cried for days. I was about to give up on my dream to become an idol, but Felix and Seungmin cheered me up and encouraged me to continue pursuing my dream of becoming an idol. I started to practice extra-long and extra hard to become better at rapping and dancing. And also, to forget you and my feelings for you. I just wanted to erase you out of my mind. But I guess it didn’t work. Even though you had been the biggest jerk on earth, I just couldn’t not love you. And I still do to that day.”

It was once again silent for almost a minute after Hyunjin had ended his monologue. Hyunjin looked at Jisung who was engrossed in his thoughts. Guilt washing all over the younger, not getting a grip of himself and his thoughts.

“This can’t be true.“, was Jisung’s blank respond after this eternity of silence.

“It is true. It definitely is.”, Hyunjin reassured. “I know it might be a shock for you, but I want you by no means to feel uncomfortable around me.” Jisung looked up at Hyunjin who looked sincere. Jisung believed his words. Even though he hadn’t believed him one word a few minutes ago, he couldn’t doubt him this time. Hyunjin’s eyes just looked so sincere and honest, full of feelings for Jisung.

“Hyunjin-“, Jisung finally spoke up but got interrupted by the other.

“I promise I can control my feelings and they will eventually go away.”, Hyunjin responded quickly and in panic, his gaze moving uneasily around the room, not able to look at Jisung directly.

“Hyunjin-“, Jisung tried again but failed once more.

“I can switch rooms with Seungmin if this will help-“

“Hyunjin!” The elder was startled by Jisung suddenly raising his voice. He didn’t even notice that he had been rambling.

Jisung registered Hyunjin’s shocked and panicked look and timidly smiled at him to calm him down.

“Please don’t let them go.”, the younger said with that timid smile on his lips. Hyunjin questioningly looked at him, his head slightly tilted like a confused puppy. “Don’t let go of what?”, he finally asked.

Jisung moved from the spot on his bed and stood up, making his way over to Hyunjin’s bed and sitting down where the other had patted on just a few minutes ago when Jisung had still been mad at Hyunjin.

The younger’s heart was beating fast as he looked right into Hyunjin’s beautiful, shining eyes. Jisung could tell how confused the older was.

“Don’t let go of your feelings for me.”, he responded to Hyunjin’s question. “Otherwise this-“, Jisung pointed at him and then at Hyunjin. “Would be just one-sided.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened in surprise. He opened his mouth without being able to say something. Totally taken by surprise. He just stared at Jisung who was still timidly smiling back at him, nervously playing with his hands.

“You mean-?”, he didn’t finish his question, but Jisung understood anyways and nodded.

Now, it was Hyunjin who brightly smiled back at Jisung, still very surprised but also very happy.

He ran his finger through his hairs, quietly laughing at himself. “I didn’t expect that.”

“Neither did I.”, Jisung also responded with a timid laugh, awkwardly scratching his head.

“We are two idiots.”

“We sure are.” They smiled at each other fondly, their argument long forgotten. They were just enjoying the beautiful moment between them, knowing that their feelings were returned and that it just had been a huge misunderstanding between them two.

„C-Can I kiss you?” Jisung asked after a few minutes of them just looking into each other’s eyes and smiling like idiots. His gaze was a mix of insecurity and hope. His usual confidence like on stage long gone and not available at this moment.

“I want you to.”, Hyunjin responded in a whisper.

Jisung placed a hand on Hyunjin’s neck, slowly leaning in while pulling the other closer. Hyunjin met his eyes before the elder closed his eyes, waiting for Jisung’s lips to touch his own. Jisung also closed his eyes as well as the distance between them.

Hyunjin’s lips felt soft against his own. The younger could feel the butterflies inside his stomach, his heart was beating even faster. It felt better than he could have ever imagined. They started by slowly moving against each other, getting a feeling of it.

Hyunjin began to move his hands from his lap to Jisung’s waist, shyly placing his hands around him while he moved his body a little closer towards Jisung’s.

With the feeling of Hyunjin’s hands on him, Jisung became more confident and moved his hand behind Hyunjin’s neck, pulling him closer and deepening their kiss. His tongue licking against Hyunjin’s lips, anticipating to feel the elder’s tongue in a fight for dominance. A fight more to his liking once he got more confidence.

Hyunjin was more than happy to let Jisung’s tongue slide into his mouth. The warm, wet feeling of the younger’s tongue against his own sent shivers to his spine. Hyunjin let go of his nervousness and embraced himself of the sensation of Han Jisung finally kissing him. While their tongues played with each other, Hyunjin couldn’t resist to let his finger slip under Jisung’s shirt, feeling his bare skin under his fingertips, making his head feel dizzy from the excitement.

Hyunjin could feel how Jisung’s body stiffened for a second before he broke the kiss. The elder was immediately worried that he had done something wrong. He looked at Jisung, the younger’s cheeks were blushed, his lips slightly opened, his shirt ridden up by an inch, making him look lewd.

The younger placed his hands on the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head in a quick smooth move, throwing the shirt on the ground and giving Hyunjin an auspicious smirk.

“Don’t be shy, feel free to touch me as much as you want to.”

‘There he is again’, Hyunjin thought to himself and couldn’t help but snort.

“Full of yourself as ever, aren’t we?”, Hyunjin responded with a mocking laugh, shaking his head in disbelieve but grinning at Jisung afterwards.

“You wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Hyunjin was just about to respond with a sassy comment when Jisung’s lips stopped him. He pressed his lips hard against the other’s before he pushed Hyunjin down on the bed, climbing over him, one leg on each side and leaning down to capture Hyunjin’s lips once more.

This time the older boy wrapped his arms around Jisung’s neck, holding him close while Jisung had one of his hands in Hyunjin’s hair. Their tongues licking against each other, making them both feel unbearable hot in this moment, hungrily kissing each other.

Jisung’s other hand went down to Hyunjin’s shirt, pulling it up to uncover his nipples. The rapper broke their kiss again to look at the beautiful sight under him. Hyunjin’s lips were already slightly swollen from the kissing, his hair a beautiful mess. Jisung smirked while biting his lip before he bent down, placing his mouth around one of the elder’s pink nipples.

Hyunjin let out a loud moan as Jisung began sucking on his nipple, immediately covering his mouth with one hand but at the same time moving towards Jisung’s touch. Jisung smirked while licking over Hyunjin’s sensitive nipple, making the other slowly becoming a moaning mess under him.

Hyunjin tried his best not to make any more lewd sounds but he couldn’t help, it felt just too good to be finally touched by his long-time crush. He finally gave up, removed his hand and fully leaned into Jisung’s touch. He moved up his hips in a desperate attempt to show Jisung where he also wanted to be touched. The other immediately understood and moved one hand down to Hyunjin’s pants, placing it above the already visible bulge and moving in the same rhythm Hyunjin wanted him to.

After a few more seconds, the younger felt a hand in his hair. “Please kiss me again.”, Hyunjin pleaded between his moans. Jisung obeyed and captured Hyunjin’s lips once more in a passionate kiss, leaving the two moaning into it.

They were so immersed in their pleasure that they didn’t hear their dorm’s front door open. They didn’t hear their members entering the living room. They didn’t hear Chan telling Jeongin to get them. They didn’t hear Jeongin making his way to their shared room. They didn’t hear the door open until-

“OH MY GOD! HELP! MY POOR EYES!”, their Maknae screamed, making Jisung and Hyunjin immediately jumping apart in shock and embarrassment.

“What happened? Is everyone alright?”, they could hear Chan’s worried voice from the living room.

“Are they still alive? Do we need an ambulance?”, Minho asked, also appearing in the door frame where Jeongin stood, covering his eyes with his hands.

“Oh, I see. They made up.”, Minho bluntly stated and left.

“They did? Then why did Jeongin screa-”, Chan hopefully asked but stopped as soon as he also appeared in the door frame, looking at a half-naked Jisung next to a deeply blushed Hyunjin, fixing his shirt. “Oh.”

“What happened? Why is everyone acting so weird?”, Changbin asked, also appearing in the door frame with Felix right behind him. As the rapper got his answer with the sight in front if him his eyes opened wide in disbelief.

“More like making out than making up.”, Felix commented while trying hard not to burst out laughing at his own wordplay.

“GET OUT!”, Jisung finally shouted and threw a pillow towards everyone still standing in the door frame.


End file.
